Why Godrick’s Hands-On Approach Is a Growth Hack
Memorandum to: Godrick the Golden, Lord of Stormveil
From: Solas Khyron, Managing Director, Academy of Raya Lucaria
Shortly after the Second Defense of Leyndell
Executive summary
The Shattering has created an unprecedented opportunity for you, Lord Godrick, to retake your rightful place among the demi-gods provided you rapidly close your current capability gap to best-in-class peers like Radahn and Malenia.
Currently, your Great Rune power ranks in the bottom-quartile of surviving Shardbearers. Your divine blood is diluted, your intelligence insufficient for sorceries and your faith inadequate for incantations.
Our team conducted an 8-week due diligence on the safest, fastest way to gain power.
Recommendation: the best way to gain the most power in the shortest time is through physically grafting powerful limbs and appendages to your body.
Problem context and analysis
The Shattering was an unexpected mass liquidation event of the Elden Ring, catalysed by the Night of the Black Knives and the assassination of Godwyn the Golden.
As contrarians, we believe you should act when there is blood in the streets, even if the blood is divine.
Of course, it is only a matter of time before equilibrium is achieved in a post-Shattering world.
The Outer Gods abhor a vacuum.
Unfortunately, a comparative benchmark analysis of conventional ways to gain power revealed significant implementation shortcomings. Key findings:
Training / “Getting good” - timeline is incompatible with window of opportunity
Strategic marriages - creates dependencies that does not address intrinsic power deficit
Divine blessing - unpredictable and highly unlikely given current volatility
Recommendation
During a team bonding event, one senior analyst was experimenting with the Primeval Current and accidentally fused a handful of interns into a small Graven Mass.
The remarkable thing about this happy accident was the resulting Graven Mass demonstrated a 340% increase in deliverable efficiency compared to the interns’ individual productivity.
The emergent properties of fusing (i.e., soul grafting) was reminiscent of the primordial Crucible of Blended Life and the eureka moment we needed.
What if power could simply be attached?
Grafting, or direct capability integration, is when a powerful limb or appendage is attached to the recipient’s body to acquire the donor’s skills and abilities. It is an ancient technique that predates the Golden Order and like forbidden glintstone sorcery, is often mischaracterized as grotesque.
It is actually a growth hack in every sense of the word: not only do you grow in power, to do so simply requires hacking (and attaching) limbs.
Why waste time training when you can just cut and paste power?
Your already misshapen, unsightly body offers significant surface area, an underutilized asset class in capability development, for fit-for-purpose grafting.
With a strategic sourcing model, best-in-class organic assets from battlefields across The Lands Between can be collected and integrated onto you with minimal post-surgical recovery time.
You will always have the right appendage for the job.
This creates a powerful, self-sustaining flywheel effect - the more powerful you become, the more powerful the enemies you will be able to defeat and take grafts from.
Vibrant, organic M&A is a healthy sign of a strong destiny.
Proposed next steps
We are proud to be pioneering this paradigm-shift in rapid power acquisition with you, Lord Godrick.
While some of your “advisors” may question the so-called “ethics” of grafting, it is actually the most progressive and fair way to acquire power.
Unlike inheriting privilege through divine birth (inherently unfair and unmeritocratic) or training with experts (elitist and exclusionary), grafting is equitable and accessible.
You can be free from the taint of not inheriting power and take pride in being a self-made Lord - a composite demi-god that built your own power with your many, many hands.
We have a selection of limbs and appendages for you to choose from that will be sure to delight and excite your sensibilities.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Solas Khyron
Managing Director, Academy of Raya Lucaria